Bunky’s Tour….

For the life of me I can’t remember why we named the dog Bunky.  I seem to recall that there was a popular phrase being used on commercials; “Is that what’s bothering you Bunky?” and that may be where it came from.  If anyone knows for sure, please help my recollection.  At any rate, Bunky made his appearance on the M-60 range at Ft. Carson, Colorado.  I remember that because I was the range officer that day.

We had already put one group through qualification so a lot of rounds had already been sent down range.  I was just preparing to commence firing with the second group when someone spotted something moving.  I held fire and scanned with the binoculars.  Sure enough, there was this little pup coming into the range from the left side.  The little shit just walked into the line of fire, then sat down and looked back at me as if to say, “Well, here I am.  Come get me”.

We figured he must have been a drop off because he was just barely weaned and we couldn’t spot any other dogs in the area.  He was probably the bastard offspring of some illicit affair and the owners probably couldn’t find anyone to take him because he had big ears, big feet, and he was ugly.  That, plus the fact that the idiot walked right into an area where all the bullets in the world were pointed his way, meant that he fit right in with the rest of us in the gun platoon.

He seemed to know right away what his job in life was because even though the enlisted guys took him in and provided him with food and lodging, he became the platoon mascot and shared his affection equally with anyone.  When it was time to pack up and move west, he naturally went along.

The first trick was getting him aboard the John Pope.  Obviously he had to go aboard stashed in someone’s carry-on baggage, but on the day we were to disembark, he was really acting up, whining and carrying on.  There was no way we could keep him quiet so we could get him below decks.  Our efforts to get him to shut up were noticed by one of the lady volunteers from the Red Cross who was there providing us with drinks and snacks (yeah, our first encounter with a Donut Dolly).  We thought she was going to blow our cover, but instead she took Bunky and immediately knew what his problem was.

Seems our pup had matured a little since we picked him up and his back teeth were growing in, which meant his baby teeth had to leave.  Two guys held his mouth open while she reached in and pulled the baby teeth out.  After the extraction, she held him to her ample bosom and gently rocked him to calm him down.  Being a true gunny, that was all it took.  He shut up and went aboard without incident.

I guess we all thought that he was going to be a big dog because he had big feet.  As it turned out, he was a short dog – with big feet.  That didn’t really make any difference to us, but it was a problem for Bunky.  It seems as though all the dogs in Vietnam were tall which meant that all the interesting parts of the female dogs in the area were too high for his parts.  He tried like hell, but wasn’t having any luck.  He couldn’t quite get the girls to understand that they were going to have to squat down to experience the thrill of their life.  Necessity being the mother of invention, he was able to come up with a solution.

I watched him do this one day and I was quit amazed how he resolved his dilemma.  He started by noisily digging a hole in the sand.  This wasn’t particularly unusual behavior; we all did it on occasion.  It seemed to help.  In his case however, he actually made a trench, a little bit longer than himself.  Satisfied with his work, he disappeared for a short time, returning with one of his girl friends.  He was actually pulling her by the ear, and led her into the trench.  This brought everything down to his height and he proceeded to enjoy himself.  I’m not sure if he was a genius, or learned this by watching one of our enlisted guys.

He seemed to have the ability to discern a gunship from a slick.  I’ve watched him hang around Flanders while helicopters were taking off and landing, and not give them a second look.  But, as soon as a “C” model would come in for landing, he’d be off like a shot, running around in the revetment, barking and carrying on.  It was an additional challenge for the pilot flying a helicopter that could barely hover, to get it on the pad without squashing the mascot.

He also liked to fly.  He’d sit on the ammo cans and his ears would flop in the wind.  If we were just enroute somewhere and the guys weren’t hanging out the side ready to shoot, he’d find his way onto a friendly lap and stick his face out into the slip stream.  What he didn’t like however, was the shooting.  In the middle of a gun run, amidst all the noise of the miniguns, door guns and rockets, you could hear his howling.  Maybe he just got excited and decided to add his thoughts to the moment.

I don’t know how much traveling he did around the country.  He came up to Bao Loc for a time,

but after he got wounded in

the paw, I think we all decided

he might want to stay at

Dong Ba Thin for the rest of his

tour.  He may have been the

inspiration for the joke about the

dog who walks into the bar looking

for the guy who shot his paw.

As the original cast members started closing in on DEROS, the next problem became how to get Bunky back home.  As usual, it was the enlisted troops who came through.  I remember the letter; it was a true work of art.  It stated that he had attained the rank of Major, had received a Purple Heart, Vietnam Service Medal, Air Medal, and I think, Bronze Star with “V” device. 

I believe PanAm came through

and provided the flight home. 

He returned to the “World” and

allowed John Zaletskis to move

in with him.  I hope he adjusted

well and was honored as a

veteran at his passing.

Fred Harms

Sidekick 3

Nov67 - Oct68